Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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