what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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