That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
