I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
