so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
