hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
