i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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