Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
MIDGETS
????
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
