I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
