Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
