I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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