are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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