im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
