just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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