i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
