remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
