fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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