How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
