There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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