You don't have asthma, your pregnant
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
and she was petting her beer can
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
