I hate your face
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
