Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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