we're chasing vodka with high fives
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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