btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
