She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
