Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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