I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i drank out of a bidet.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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