Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
