what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
