someone threw a dead crab at me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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