We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
