How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
