What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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