Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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