ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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