I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
