i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
