so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
