If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
