it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
