I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
