i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
