Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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