My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
