Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
