hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
