I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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