youre lurking in front of me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
