Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
