oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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